This is a good discussion.
SucKit, JWT has a number of different programs. I don't know which ones you have though. If your two prgrams are acting differently they're probably different programs. I'd give JWT a call and just ask them about it.
It will take a while for detonation to kill an engine. The effect of detonation is that you get these little shockwaves of super high pressure hitting parts like your pistons and head. The pressure is so high and moving so fast that the "ting ting ting" sound that it makes is literally the shockwave itself ramming itself into your pistons and head. Think about how hard it would have to be hitting the pistons in order to make a sound so loud you can hear it from inside the cabin. Detonation can wear away your head and ring lands. Every "hit" from a detonation shock wave can literally put a small hole into something in your engine, it's that strong.
That's why it's important to IMMEDIATELY get off the gas if you hear detonation, and turn down the boost or stay off the gas.
Now actually getting small holes in your pistons is a worst case scenario, If you detonate a little bit I doubt it will do very much. But it's something that you'll need to take care of because continuing detonation will most likely start damaging parts. You can take care of detonation by doing one of things already listed, such as -
higher octane
lower compression
less boost
lower intake air temp (i.e. adding water injection)
retard your timing
less backpressure (bigger exhaust system)
higher RPMs (this should work if you're borderline detonating).
And if you can't hear detonation then you're probably not detonating. It may be worth your time to find a hill, and go up in 5th gear at a lower RPM and listen carefully for detonation. It should sound like a high pitched metallic "tinging" or jangling. You will know it when you hear it, because you'll know the engine doesn't sound like that normally. If you can't hear anything, then most likely you're not detonating.
kafn8ed, I recommend the profec B boost controller, seen here along with the greddy turbo timer:
And then in this pic, see my blowoff valve, with the purple cover? hard to miss it, I know. But just to the right of it is a black box mounted to the strut tower - that's the controller box for the Profec-B. It's a pretty easy install, relatively.
And of course I definitely agreee with you about the suspension and brakes... they are absolutely necessary. You will have to brake so much harder and faster than you're used to, because the same amount of effort that it took to get the car to 60 MPH will now get it to 90 MPH, and it's hard to adjust to for a little while.